One morning I was just randomly scrolling through the Sunday special newspaper, I reached the matrimonial page and I don’t know for what reason but decided to stay. I started with the ‘groom wanted’ section. The first proposal read as “girl 26/5’3″, B.tech MBA cultured ,very fair fair-looking for good looking and equally fair boy.” Moving on to the next one, “girl 22/5’6″, Bsc, well mannered, moderately fair (dusky), looking for well earning groom.” Almost all of these proposals had mentions of the complexion of the bride, surprisingly many of them did not even talk much about her personality or values. I read the ‘bride wanted’ section as well and there too I saw the same kind of descriptions.


Now, giving an ad in the newspaper is really an expensive affair, where every inch matters and imagine spending that golden space on the skin color of the bride or the groom, that is how deep-rooted the obsession with fair skin in our society is. Clearly, the first question someone ever asks when you hear rumors of a prospected marriage is “how is the the bride?” and the answer you get cannot be completed without saying “she is fair” or “she is dusky or moderately fair”.

It is evident that we have established fairness as a criteria for beauty and superiority. Racism has strong roots in our public but people deny being racist all the time. Let me tell you, when you said “she is dark yet beautiful” instead of “she is dark and beautiful” or “he is isn’t fair but he is handsome” instead of just “he is handsome” you were totally being a racist.

We have a wide range of beauty products which help us get lighter skin, the cosmetic industry contributes to 36% of the Global market! Research suggests the beauty products which have lightning agents are preferred over more natural and effective creams which soften and moisturize skin but do not make it fair. However, this obsession is not sexist and has affected men as much as it has affected women. 30% of the fairness product users are men. Various cosmetic companies also have a different line of products for males.

I am sure that most of us have seen an advertisement that shows a dark-skinned women who goes for an interview and is rejected. She goes home and applies the fairness product. 7 days later she goes for an interview in the same office and she is hired! Nothing about her personality changed, nor her qualifications. The depiction that her light skin got her the job and gave her wings is outrageously disturbing for me!

This problem is rounded in 2 issues:

1.We have established light skin as a standard of beauty.

2. It is linked with confidence.

A fair look boosts your self esteem‘ is what our society has been portraying all these years. Light skinned people are often looked up to as more attractive, confident and achieving. On the other hand, people who are not as fair as the beauty standards are told that there is something about them that is incomplete, they maybe as successful as the fairer ones or even more but their complexion is always pinpointed.That is the reason people abuse their faces with layers of fairness products and make up and lose their natural look.

Have you seen friends who are a slight shade of brown, Google “home remedies for skin lightening” or come up with the defense “I am not dark, I am ‘wheatish‘(that isn’t even an official color by the way).” What makes us so insecure about ourselves that no matter how pure and gorgeous we are on the inside we pay attention to how we can be fairer day by day and this insecurity eats up our self esteem!

Let me tell you that fair skin is not going to boost your confidence, but accepting your natural color surely will!confidence does not stem from validation, confidence comes from the belief to go on even without validation!

You are what you are and you are amazing no matter what shade, because our skin was created in different beautiful varieties but our souls are the same color.

After all,

Laundry should be segregated on basis of color, not people.

17 thoughts on “UNFAIR and LOVELY…

  1. In all fairness, maybe they spent a lot of money decorating and a darker-skinned person would clash with the decor… Funny how what we often think is bigotry is simply interior design…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yay, thank you for putting this out there!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Chetan Mahadik Aug 8, 2018 — 5:20 pm

    Great Thought, however I think one of the main reason for it is also the reduction of young women into beauty and decorative pieces for men to showoff. As slowly women will get empowered and will stand on their feet and will become smart this discrimination will phase out.
    But till then openions like these matter and should be made.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. Long way to go.


  4. Suraj Mandhare Aug 8, 2018 — 5:22 pm

    Lovely articulation and fair also 👍

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Interesting and well articulated. Adding to the aforesaid framework, we as a commonwealth society happen to be inherently biased. This probably might be due to our history, or the cumulative rule by a specific race and class.
    However, it is difficult to identify the difference between inherent biasedness and a personal choice. Therewith leading to market exploitation by the said fairness creams and experts.

    Continue with the interesting write ups.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much and yes it is because of our history and this will take a long time to change but I believe it will

      Liked by 1 person

    2. That’s true. I am sure someday the sun shall rise again.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Yet millions are lying in the sun today trying to get brown.
    Nice take. I have never considered fairness of skin as a predictor of racism

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Very well analyzed. Title given to the article is most apt.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Excellent post! And so very true. There is no justification for judging people on their race, skin colour, religion, sexual orientation, culture, or any other superficial criteria. Who we are, our values and behaviours should be the only important things. Are we kind? Are we generous and compassionate? Do we care about others? Those are important … skin colour is not! Sadly, our society is moving backward to a time when water fountains, businesses, restaurants and bathrooms were segregated. This is not a world I recognize.

    I think, however, that anyone who goes looking for a partner in the newspaper is likely of a shallow character to begin with!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes I agree we often forget enriching our inner self and focus on how we look and appear which is superficial

      Liked by 1 person

  9. True. Down to earth observations. Makes one to think on the subject which was so far taken for granted.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Manisha Jagtap Aug 9, 2018 — 9:53 am

    Excellent post …very well articulated …it’s today’s and generation s post reality ..but new geration seems to inclined to change this reality and working on inner self …Your article is Eye opener to “unfair” ones and encouragement to ” lovely ” people like your title….Excellent title ..keep expressing yourself …

    Liked by 1 person

  11. such a lovely way to put some real serious thoughts. In our country there Fairness is a synonym of Confidence and Beauty and people never ever think about Qualification or Education instead… reason.. they believe in Looks which are on outside (first impression is last impression you know). they dont even want to give a person another chance to know who they are more than what they look.
    thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

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